A YeaR WiTh Me, MySelf, and I

So today is the anniversary of my being single after my last serious relationship. A lot have reacted to me remembering the day I got dumped. How can I not forget that day? It was the first time in my life I have ever felt tremendous pain caused by a guy. It kinda left a big scar in my heart. But believe me when I say this that I have forgiven him already. I am even happy for him. He is with someone new now and they are pretty serious. And I know that he loves her more than he has ever loved me. I'll admit that the first time I found out about her, a month ago, I did feel a bit jealous especially when I saw their pictures together. It made me regret adding him on facebook.

He took her to places where I wish he would have taken me back when we were still together. She is everything that he wants for a girl. She is everything that he wants me to become. I figured that she is the "one" he's been looking for and I'm happy for him that he found her.

So how am I? How am I coping up with the life of being single. I guess the first few months had been difficult for me and I'm sure it was normal considering that I was very much in love back then. But after the mourning period and accepting that it was just not meant to be, everything has been quite okay ever since. I have tried dating again but it's not easy finding someone these days. Everyone tells me that I'm too picky. I would say that I'm just careful this time. I'm not looking for the tall, dark, handsome guy alright I just have certain qualities that i won't give up just because everyone thinks I am not getting any younger (the clock is ticking they would taunt me). I won't settle for someone just because I feel alone sometimes. I'll wait for the right person.

I have kept myself busy lately. Been involve with a lot of community service program and been climbing a lot. Recently I have joined Singles for Christ. I was a bit hesitant because I've been hearing a lot of unpleasant stuff about this community. I honestly told myself that I will just be joining the first talk of their Christian Life Program but I ended up loving it and up until now I have no regret joining at all. I've learned so many things about myself, about God, and about learning to love myself more. I can feel that I did change after the 5th talk. There had been questions about myself that only in this community I found the answers. I find myself more grateful and contented to the things that I have now. This building an intimate relationship with God really changed me to a much better person and I wish to continue this. Sure there are times that I have faltered but it's been great that my faith, my renewed faith to God has helped me deal with my problems much easier now. No longer do I run away. I am truly happy with what's been going on so far. I may feel lonely sometimes like when I eat by myself in a restaurant, or go jogging by myself, or go watch movies by myself, or go to the bookstore by myself but no longer does it worry me. Isn't that great? =D I have hope, peace, and love in my heart and I realize that's all I need.

PeT PeeVes

Read my previous entries and found how depressing it had been so i deleted them. Can't believe I've been talking about this guy. How could I've allowed myself to think that a guy like him would dig a very strange person like me? He seems to be the person who would rather go out with someone who wears make up, who is smart enough to get what his jokes are about. well enough about him. what is wrong with me? and why am i putting myself down? Is being strange a bad thing? no matter how hard i do i just can't seem to change. well while we are on the topic about my being, a thought came knocking in my head. i wonder if there is someone like me or am i really as unique as what they say i am. if i am unique then is there someone out there made just for me? someone who would be able to tolerate all the weird stuff that seem to have define me?("Reyna ng Sablay", "Blooper Girl", "Unlucky Girl", "Tanga"). Because really I myself wouldn't pick me if that would be possible (isn't that sad?).

Majority of my friends would tell me to change, to grow up because there is absolutely no way that i could attract someone (ouch right but they claim that they are only saying this because they adore and care for me). maybe you'll think that I'm being to harsh on myself. Well you are lucky today because i will be giving you a personal tour to my closet of what my sister loves to call "pet peeves". You can therefore say to yourself how hopeless my case is. And if you feel that i still have a chance of finding my pair please do say so because honestly this is really making me sad.

When I open something I never close it.

The cologne and alcohol I have wasted because I always forget to close them after use. Although yes my bag always end up smelling good but isn't it a shame that they never serve their purpose. I'm suppose to be the one smelling good not my bag!

When I switch on something I rarely switch them off.

Yeah I get worried when I go out because I couldn't stop thinking about leaving the house. What if I've forgotten to switch off the lights or any appliances? What if it could cause some disaster like fire perhaps? All the awful things I could imagine when i am not at home. so if there are times when I seem not myself don't worry i have not lost mind. I'm just lost inside my head and will recover soon after I receive a text message from my sister informing me that the house is okay.


You'll find in my bag lots and lots of candy wrappers and sometimes even inside my books.

My being too lazy to throw my trash in the garbage can is what's made this a habit already. Even if I'm probably an inch away from the garbage can I'm already programmed to keep my trash on a place where it isn't supposed to be. Yup I'm a pig. ummmh a cute pig that is.

I have a wallet but my cash, cards, and etc. is not in it.

Most of the time when I receive change I forget to place them in my wallet or sometimes when i use my card too. I know! right! how lazy could i be?!

When I sleep the bed covers, pillows, blanket, anything you can find in the bed will no longer be there.

Nobody wants to sleep beside me! I occupy most of the space of the bed! Although I'm unconscious I am apparently a thief of blanket and pillow and I move a lot too. I'm not sure if I should be blame. I mean I am sleeping and doesn't know what's been going on.

When I'm listening to music or when I watch TV it's like almost always in full volume.

I'm not deaf okay. I can't exactly explain why i so love hurting my eardrums but it makes me really happy. I really don't know why.

I have a bookmark but I seem to never able to use. Poor books.

This is probably why I am never fond of borrowing of books, I buy my own. I'm not really good with taking care of books. Awful! Just awful!

Bag is often open!

It's either i'm too forgetful or just lazy to even bother closing my bag. Everyone close to me already knows how chaotic my stuff are inside my bag. They know what's inside it. Heck they would even know if it's my period. I'm a walking trash can that's how they describe me. Even theives don't wanna mess with my bag (not that i want to). Must be because it's open and they would assume someone has already robbed me or they don't think trash bag has any value.

Well this is just some of my "minor" annoying behavior. I'll just leave the rest in my closet where it's best hidden. You're probably thinking how worst could i get right? Well if you happen to know my sister who is witness to everything i do you'll be convinced. if pet peeves can be sold I'd be a millionaire by now. :)

So far what do you think? Am I really that bad? Am i gonna end up being alone? okay i give you permission to judge me but only if you are not too harsh okay? take it easy on me. :P till then i'm still here trying to change.